You are who you say

A brief tangent into why we label ourselves and if it helps

Consider these phrases:

"I have run in the past."
"I go for runs sometimes."
"I'm a runner."

What sort of person does each image conjure up?

Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash

A couple years ago, I learned about identity affirmations, statements that help you feel like you belong to a social group. In the above example, the third speaker uses an "I am" sentence. From this we can assume they consider themselves part of the social category "people who run", and that being a runner is part of how they see themselves. Claude Steele was one of the first academics to talk about this idea, and suggested that we tell ourselves these stories as a way of buffering against external contradicting information.

Let's say, I had a habit of running regularly, but I got injured and couldn't exercise for a few weeks. I still considered myself a runner even though I wasn't actually going on runs. What happened when I healed? I got back out on the road, because running is part of who I am.

Now imagine that I didn't consider myself a runner. I just happened to go for a run and got injured. Would I be so eager to tie up my running shoes again? Or would I think that it's a sign not to go running? I might even think that running is not for me.

How do we apply this consciously? Basically, if you want to become a person who runs regularly, don't tell yourself "I go for runs". Instead, say "I am a runner." You'll be more likely to actually get out and run, because you're a runner and that's what runners do.

Yes, this can be hijacked to believe all kinds of lovely and charitable things about yourself - But I'm a good person, anyone? That's why it's important to practice honesty and integrity, so we can tell if we are living up to our own expectations. I digress.

Running is not for everyone and that's okay. But there are probably other things that you would love to do or be. You can start working on yourself by using these "I am" identity affirmations. This concept helps us not only build habits, but also increase our sense of belonging in society and psychological safety. I’ve linked some additional readings below if you want to dive deeper into this topic.

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Disclaimer: I'm no expert. This piece is not an invitation to insult or harass people whose labels are different from yours. In fact, I hope this piece will encourage you to think more broadly about the importance of labels for self-determination.

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Additional Readings:

1. Claude Steele's work. Presents the concept of a self-system, comprising the internal explanations and rationalizations we tell ourselves.

2. Testing a Model of Minority Identity Achievement, Identity Affirmation and Psychological Well-Being among Ethnic Minority and Sexual Minority Individuals. Defines identity achievement and affirmation, and discusses how these can contribute to sense of belonging.

3. Vicarious self-affirmation: Understanding key mechanisms. Discusses how self-affirmation can shield us from perceived threats and make us more receptive to controversial information.